“Fear makes us feel our humanity.”- Benjamin Disraeli
I have to admit that I never felt scared, at least not really scared. I knew the feeling of nervousity or stress, but real fear? This time I got to know fear.
Fear makes you small and stupid, fear limits your freedom, fear supresses you, fear makes you start thinking.
Many years ago my father taught me that I shouldn´t leave the house or hotel as woman alone in Ipoh. I knew that I shouldn´t leave the house after dawning in other cities- which means after 7.30 pm.
During night time most of the women move around in groups or are accompanied by a man, which should be safe, but even a single man can´t protect a woman if they´re getting attacked.
Rape can happen because some stupid idiots enjoy the power they have over the situation and over another human-being without thinking the slightest bit about how they are destroying a life. Rape can also happen to harm another man or to take revenge. What is more sacred to a Malaysian man than the woman he loves or the women which are close to him?
Its disgustinng to walk alone and feel how guys are starring at you.The worst part is that these guys are the opinion that they´ve got the right to stare at you. But hey, just for your information: Women are humans and not some objects without thoughts or feelings.
I discussed the role of women in the Malaysian society with different people. I asked how it is possible that only a few rape cases got popular. Reaons for this are that raped women often don´t go to the police, because they´re the opinon that they´ll bring shame over themselves, but also on their families. Moreover they don´t want to be reminded, they just want to forget. Another aspect might be the unjust judicial system, which makes it really difficult to convict a guy – no matter what he did.
These campaigns are good ones since they are raising awareness, but its kind of sad that these things aren´t self-evident. Instead some people are talking about the women´s joint guilt, because they didn´t dress in a decent way and provoked the rapist. Victim blaming all over! Are these people actually aware of the pain and the trauma the victims are facing? Do these people know the term empathy?
In some arranged marriages women suffer under their husbands, because they are inferior to their husbands, are not protected and furthermore dependent on the guy. Escaping in such a situation is more than difficult. Their husbands can do a lot to them and after I experienced how a woman was slapped in her face by her husband, I questioned myself, if these people have conscience or if they regret their actions? But, I don´t think so.
If a Malay woman gets raped, four male witnesses have to be the wittnesses, before the rapist can get convicted. If this is the case, you should ask yourself how it is possible that none of these guys helped the victim? Furthermore, rape mostly happens when the rapist is alone with the victim. She´s not a witch. How does she want to get four male witnesses in this situation?
During my time in Malaysia I was told not to trust anyone, especially not police or security guards, because even these people would sometimes take advantage of a woman and I think that this abuse of power is simply disgusting.
During my time in Malaysia I learned to keep silent if someone did something bad. This shouldn´t be the case, but sometimes fear was controlling me. Until today I didn´t get why certain guys are behaving in certain ways. You didn´t harm them, you don´t even know them. Just imagine a world in which humans are respecting each other – independently from age, gender, ethnicitiy or religion. Wouldn´t this be great? I also personally hope that judicial systems are changing. I hope it changes that much that women finally have the chance to act against their abusers without the fear of being blamed themselves. And I hope that people who destroyed the life of another human being (may it be rape, abuse, degradatio, etc.) within in seconds are experiencing the situation of losing everything – namely: lifelong jail term.